Lady Gaga and Dueling Songs By Kanye and Taylor Dominate MTV VMAs

The loud and glittery free-for-all known as the MTV Video Music Awards, held in Los Angeles, promised plenty of Lady Gaga, crazy performances, Lady Gaga, various drop-ins by the 'Jersey Shore' cast, Lady Gaga and ... Lady Gaga. Mission accomplished.

Gaga, who showed up with a military escort, won the first award of the night for best female video, for 'Bad Romance.' She was up for a total of 13 moonmans, which is a VMA record. She ended with eight -- another record, including the biggie: video of the year. Eminem wasn't far behind with an impressive eight nominations. His 'Not Afraid' won best male video and best hip-hop vid.

Everyone's favorite 16-year-old, Justin Bieber, grabbed the coveted best new artist award.

But of course most people were talking all night about Kanye West and Taylor Swift, who were both slated to perform -- separately. Swift went up first, and sang a melodramatic ditty about a man who was "32 and still growing up ... who you are is not what you did, you're still an innocent." West was 32 during last year's infamous interruption of Swift's acceptance speech.

SUBTLE!

Viewers had to wait until the end to see Kanye's answer to Taylor's tweaking. He didn't disappoint, with a sing-rap track that turned into an apt confessional. He offered: "Let's have a toast for douchebags, let's have a toast for the assholes." Was he talking about himself? Um.

For hosting duties, MTV swapped out bad BOY comic Russell Brand for bad GIRL comic Chelsea Handler.

Let's look at what else went down.

- Performances included Eminem (who opened the show), Justin Bieber, Usher, Florence and the Machine, Linkin Park, Drake, Nicki Minaj, B.o.B., Mary J. Blige and more.

- Nominees, presenters and guests": Beyonce (five nominations), 30 Seconds to Mars (Jared Leto's band which won best rock video), and Jay-Z and Alicia Keys (up for best collaboration). Ellen DeGeneres presented, as did cast members from 'Glee' and 'Jackass.' Other stars attending included Justin Timberlake (Remember that kid? He met with a just a little bit of success in music, before his movie career!), who was seated near 'Social Network' costar Jesse Eisenberg. And fresh from jail and rehab, Lindsay Lohan made an awkward cameo alongside host Handler.

- Fashion crazied up the scene at every turn: Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian, Ke$ha, the cast of 'Jersey Shore,' Rosario Dawson and of course, Lady Gaga all did their thing. It's not known as the wildest red carpet of the year for nothing, and don't adjust your sets, because it was technically a white carpet this year.